Counseling For People Pleasers In Englewood, CO
You wake up in the morning to the blaring alarm clock. You’re already feeling on edge from the night before because you didn’t get enough sleep. You stayed up later than you would’ve liked last night running through different conversations you’ve had with people throughout the day, questioning if you should have said or done something differently. You start reliving those moments again as you wake up and feel the gnawing in your stomach grow. You’re too nauseous to eat breakfast because you’re still so anxious that you said the wrong thing to your friend yesterday and that they’re secretly mad at you for it. You go throughout your day wondering how to stay on everyone’s “good side” so that no one else is mad at you. You even go out of your way to look for things you can do to make people’s lives easier, and you think to yourself “this’ll help”.
You're consumed with worry about what the people around you think about you. You wish you could stop caring but that feels impossible/unrealistic. Your worry holds you back from finally feeling relaxed and fulfilled in your relationships.
Now Imagine…
How freeing it would feel to wake up and feel confident in yourself. To let go of past moments you think you could’ve said or done something better. To know deep down that you are loved and your needs matter to those around you. To feel like you don’t have to put on a mask of trying to please everyone–that it was okay or actually WANTED by others that you show up as who you are, no more no less. Imagine what it would be like to feel free from other people's judgments, expectations, and only worry about what YOU need and how to healthily maintain your relationships!
You finally feel confident in who you are as a person and what you bring to a relationship. You feel relaxed, joyful, and at peace. You have the tools you need to take care of yourself as well as maintaining healthy and close relationships.
Many of us have been in that constant cycle of people-pleasing and burnout to keep people we love close to us. It can be exhausting and confusing to consider doing anything different, but there’s hope. I’ve helped many women break out of this exhausting cycle and I would love to do the same for you.
You deserve to have your needs met too.
I help women achieve this by using my extensive experience working with women who struggle with people-pleasing and feeling out-of tune with themselves using an attachment-based approach to provide 1:1 sessions virtually and in person so they can gain confidence, improve relationships, and discover their purpose.
FAQs
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That’s wonderful, and I thought you might ask that! This therapy is not meant for you to become “selfish” or only consider what you need in a relationship. The purpose is to help you finally consider what you need too. You’re already SO good at knowing what other people need–let us help you learn what you need!
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I love this question! First off, in therapy I am never going to make you go anywhere you don’t want to go. However, as an attachment-based therapist, yes I tend to ask about your childhood because that’s where you first learned these skills to read people and try to meet their needs potentially at the expense of yourself. It’s important to know how it started so we can understand the depth that these patterns have and uproot them together.
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Absolutely not! You might’ve heard this metaphor before: we all have our own cup. And inside the cup is water that represents all of the things that bring us joy, feel fulfilling, and motivate us in life!
When our cup is full it’s easier to ‘look on the brightside’, have patience with your children, reach out to friends and family, or feel happier in general. Then the hard parts of life come alongside the cup and start knocking that water out of our cup. We start to get frustrated more easily, feel tired more often, and maybe have a more sour outlook on life.
By filling our own cup (meeting our needs), we can have more bandwidth for when things get hard which is actually helpful and kind to the people around you.
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We need to find the things that bring us joy and that we find fulfillment in AND sometimes we need practical things such as needing to know we’re loved and that we belong. We need physical touch from our partners. We need someone to reassure us that we are worthwhile. These are the things that we explore in therapy so that you can know what you need to fill your cup and ask those around to help! Which isn’t selfish, because when your cup is filled–that joy and fulfillment overflows into other people’s cups too. Cool how that works, huh?